weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm passing your future prison.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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