let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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