What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
