I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize