My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
