totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
