Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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