Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
