You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
