You're a womanizer and a bitch.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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