He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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