You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
