Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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