i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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