I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
