what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
