it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
