Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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