It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
