you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
