just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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