I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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