I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
