last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
