Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
