i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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