I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
