if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
