no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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