i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
