I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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