No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
