I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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