i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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