apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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