idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize