The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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