i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
