Yo dont text me then not text me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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