I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
