Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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