Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
