i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
