So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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