Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
