If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
