distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
