I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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