I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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