i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She even gives head with a lisp.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
