At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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