I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
