Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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