i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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