I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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