found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
