it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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