if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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