It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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