She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize