What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
